Miami Life Coaching Blog

Not everyone is blessed to look forward to an idyllic Father’s Day–a barbecue, a pleasant family get together.

Some children and adults have no father–possibly through abandonment, death or an ugly divorce.  Children need to be helped to work through feelings of hurt, anger, or being different.  Mom would be the most logical person to help, but often mom is struggling with her own feelings towards the absent father.

Too many fathers?  Yes, a child may have a biological father and a step-father, step-fathers, or a foster father.  Again confusion can rein for the child who will need help sorting through his/her feelings in handling how to celebrate the day.

There are many adults who have been estranged from their fathers.  Another situation that some may want to address. 

There is always a friend, a teacher, a counselor, or a therapist to help  deal with a hurtful situation.

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1. Think of solutions, not problems.
2. Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.
3. Watch comedies that make you laugh.
4. Watch your thoughts.  Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.
5. Look at what you have done and not at what you haven’t.
6. Each day do something good for yourself such as buying a book, going to a movie or strolling on the beach.
7. Each day do at least one act to make others happy.  It can be a kind word or giving a small present.
8. Always expect happiness.
9. Associate with happy people.  Happiness is contagious.
10. Exercise regularly.
11. Pare your to-do list down to the essentials.
12. Slow down to enjoy life more.
13. Find your passion.  Find something you love to do.
14. Eat healthfully.
15. Eliminate clutter and get organized.
16. Develop close friendships.
17. Eliminate debt.
18. Limit your information intake.  Go on a media fast.
19. Don’t compare yourself to others.

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Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships–heterosexual or homosexual, married or not.

Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding or each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. This pre-marriage counseling can help couples iron out differences before marriage.

In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship. You can use marriage counseling to address many specific issues, including communication, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing or blended families, substance abuse, financial problems,anger, infidelity, or divorce.

Once you find a therapist, ideally both partners will attend sessions.

It’s more challenging to patch up a relationship when only one partner is willing to go to therapy, but you can still benefit by learning about your reactions and behavior in the relationship.

Marriage counseling may be short or long term, depending on the situation. Getting started and making that first phone call can be tough, but in the long run it can help you cope with a troubled relationship.

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To answer this question one must consider the quality of the relationship. 

Women in happy marriages live longer.  Middle-aged women in good marriages are less likely to develop risk factors that lead to cardiovascular disease compared with other middle-aged women. 

Marital stress is associated with lifestyle risk factors and nonadherence to medical regimens.  Poor marital quality is also linked with more depression, hostility and anger, all risk factors for coronary heart disease.

The following are ten reasons for being single.

1. You have a better body.  Women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of marriage.  Unhappily married women gain an average of 54 pounds in the first 10 years.
2. You’re more likely to accomplish more without family responsibilities.
3. You do less housework.
4. You can do what you want with your money.
5. You have better sex according to some studies.
6. You’re better rested.  Sleeping two to a bed isn’t as restful as sleeping alone.
7. Single women report less depression.
8. You have more time to develop friendships.
9. Singles take more interesting vacations.
10. You have time to know yourself and pursue your interests.

On the other hand, usually married couples accumulate more wealth.

Marriage, according to sociologist Linda Waite, contributes to better health.  There is evidence that married people practice healthier lifestyles after they marry.

In marriage there is companionship and more regular sex. 

In conclusion, the grass is always greener.

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Are you or your partner losing interest in sex?  A variety of physiological and psychological factors can impact your libido.  The following are some common sex-drive killers.

Job stress, money worries, or family health issues can decrease libido.  To learn how to manage stress, possibly seek the advice of a counselor.

Unresolved relationship problems are one of the most common killers of sex drive.  For women in particular, emotional closeness is a major ingredient in sexual desire.  Communication problems and betrayal can sabotage your sex life.

Alcohol can numb your sex drive, although for some it makes them less inhibited about sex.  Inebriation can be a turn-off for your partner.  The same goes for recreational drugs.

Too little sleep can interfer with your sex life.

The parents of small children often have limited time for sex.  Try scheduling sex for when baby is sleeping.  Hire a baby sitter and possibly go away for a night or two.

Drugs commonly linked to libido loss include:  anitdepressants, blood pressure medications, antihistamines, chemotherapy, and anti-HIV drugs.

Body image,obesity, erectile dysfunction and low testosterone are other contributing factor of low libido.

Depression, menopause and too little non-sexual intimacy also contribute to low sex drive.

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If you are in a crisis situation, I will make every effort to schedule you within 24 hours in office.  This does not include suicidal ideas, but rather issues concerning your relationship or work.  Call to schedule.

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As a therapist/life coach, one of the most immediate and satisfying cures is helping people who have headaches–sometimes moderate, sometimes severe.  The relief that people have is within ten to fifteen minutes.  Often, I’m concerned that the person is asleep and won’t get up so I can accomodate my next patient in a timely manner.

I don’t have a scientific answer other than the benefits of deep relaxation.  If you are a chronic headache sufferer, and have seen a  family doctor or neurologist and have been told that there is nothing that can be pinpointed, call me.  Not only can I help your headache, but I can give you tools to use at home.

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Today is a historic day.  Health Care Reform has passed the House.

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We’ve all misplaced our keys or wandered into the kitchen, not totally sure what the purpose was.  What we want to prevent is serious cognitive decline as we age.

Certain factors can mimic cognitive decline.  Depression, stress, pain, sleep deprivation, and certain medications can present as cognitive decline.

Some symptoms of depression are sleep problems, difficulty initiating activities, guilt, lack of interest in previous activities, lack of concentration, changes in appetite and psychomotor slowing.  Depression is not infrequently diagnosed as dementia.

Thyroid medications and steriods can affect memory.

Some risk factors for cognitive decline are:  elevated blood pressure, elevated serum cholesterol, diabetes, obestity, smoking, COPD, head injury and environmental toxins.

Memory may be improved by keeping our brains active, exercising, and taking supplements such as fish oil and vitamins B6 and B12.

Finally, the experts tells us that socialization and a sense of usefulness are essential in keeping our brains functioning.

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As a therapist/coach, I am aware of the spoken word, the possible meanings behing the spoken word, the tone in which it is conveyed and the body language of the other person.

Understanding body language may help you in your personal and professional life.  Here are some common examples of body language:

1.  Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly may indicate boredom.

2.  Sitting with legs apart , may indicate an open relaxed manner.

3.  Arms across the chest may indicate defensiveness.

4.  Sitting with hands clasped behing the head, with legs crossed may indicate a sense of superiority.

5.  Tapping or drumming of fingers indicates impatience.

What body language are you aware of?  What signals do you send off?

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