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Co-dependency is a term frequently used in therapy.  Here are some of the symptoms.

*  Controlling behavior

*  Caretaking behavior

*  Perfectionism

*  Intimacy problems

*  Distrust

*  Avoidance of feelings

Possible Causes of co-dependency:

*  Avoidance of discussing problems

*  Keeping feelings to oneself

* Difficulty being playful

*  Avoiding behavior that appears selfish

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Well it’s that time when we ponder how to make the New Year better.  Resolutions.  Here are some tips for resolutions you can stick to.

• Just pick one thing.  Don’t try to change your whole life style at once.  What do you most want to change?
• Read up on the change.  Diet.  Exercise.  Finances.  Relationships.  There are books on anything you may want to change.
• Anticipate problems.  There will be setbacks.  It’s inevitable.  Know that you can forge ahead.
• Pick a start date.  Maybe New Year’s Day doesn’t feel right for you.  Maybe a week when you are less stressed or when the kids go back to school will be a perfect date.
• Make a commitment and write it down on a card.  Keep the card in places where you might see it several times a day.  Just a short phrase like—Meditation Calms Me or I Enjoy Fruits and Vegetables.
• Reward Yourself.  A whole week sugar free.  Allow your self a small reward.  Some flowers, a magazine, a gift to yourself for your success.  You can do it.  I know you can.

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Are you stressed out thinking about a party?  Here’s a guide for feeling more comfortable.

• Wear something festive.  A colorful tie, an interesting pin or fashionable shoes are great conversation starters.  People tend to gravitate toward people who look interesting.  Stand out from the crowd by wearing a bright color, like red or emerald green, not black.
• Brush up on interesting, current topics.  Try talking to people not everyone is talking to.  Have a list of easy questions in mind as conversation starters.  Jokes can work, but be careful not to offend.
• Be liberal with compliments and introduce yourself.  Introduce people to each other.  They will remember you for it.
• Stand out in a good way.  Practice brief toasts.
•  Be a good guest.  Avoid too much booze, offensive jokes or flirtatious behavior that goes over the line.
• Know when to go.  Don’t wait for the last stragglers.

Please share any suggestions you may have.  Happy New Year.

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Warning Signs of Alzheimers

*  Forgetting recently learned information.

*  Difficulty planning or completing everyday tasks.

*  Forgetting simple words, making speech or writing difficult to understand.

*  Getting lost in one’s own neighborhood and not knowing how to get back home.

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The New York Times recently focused on the significance of generosity in marriage.  Generosity leads to both spouses being happier in the marriage.

What exactly constitutes generosity?

• Expressing affection or love to your partner.
• Expressing respect or admiration to your partner.
• Performing small acts of kindness for your partner (like making him or her coffee in the morning).
• Forgiving your partner for his or her mistakes or failings.

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I was impressed with the health article in today’s New York Times.  In essence, the article reads that ” it’s not that trying to find ways to improve ourselves is a bad thing,  But when we are constantly reaching rather than occasionally being satisfied with what we have in front of us, that’s a receipe for perpetual dissatisfaction.”

The struggle to find the balance between stagnation and stress resonates even more now in these economically downtimes, when even your best efforts don’t seem to be reaping the rewards you expected.  Is good enough, good enough for you?

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I have many clients who have insomnia.

What Causes Insomnia?

• Psychological problems–especially depression, anxiety or chronic stress.
• Medications that may cause insomnia:  antidepressant medications, pain medications that contain caffeine (Midal, Excedrin, high blood pressure medications.
• Medical problems that can cause insomnia:  hyperthyroidism, acid reflux, and chronic pain.
• Sleep disorders that can cause insomnia:  Sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome.

Habits That Make Insomnia Worse

• Drinking excessive caffeine.
• An irregular sleep schedule.
• Learned insomnia–worrying excessively about not sleeping well and trying too hard to fall asleep.

Symptoms of Insomnia

• Difficulty falling asleep at night.
• Awakening during the night.
• Awakening too early.
• Not feeling well rested after a night’s sleep.

Treating Insomnia

• Correct misconceptions about the nature of sleep.
• Establish a consistent bedtime routine.
• Try to get to bed at the same time every night.
• Get plenty of exercise during the day.
• Learn and use relaxation techniques.
• If insomnia continues, discuss with your doctor as to whether a sleep study would be helpful.

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     Chronic migraine suffers (those who are laid low 15 or more days a month) now have an alternative remedy to medications.

     For those patients who have responded to the off-label use of Botox for migraine relief, a minority are using a new procedure–plastic surgery.  First, the trigger point must be identified.  A forehead lift will rejuvenate the forehead and hopefully permanently eliminate migraines.  Surgery on the temples will rejuvenate the eyebrows.  Surgery at the back of the head has no added perks.

     Some patients have remained headache- free for a year.  It is still too early to know whether those patients will remain headache-free for life.

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1.  Be suspicious if your partner acts differently towards you.  He/she may treat you with extra affection or start to ignore you completely.

2.  When your partner is cheating, he may get defensive if questioned.  If your partner refuses to answer your questions, it may be a product of guilt in deceiving you.

3.  Your partner hides friendships from you.  Letters, emails, texts, or phone calls from people you haven’t heard your partner mention before are questionable.  If your partner refuses to explain who the new friends are, a new relationship may have begun.

4.  If your partner cheated on you in the past, he may do it again.

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The New York Times reports that a new study suggests that psychotherapy and gradual increase in exercise can significantly benefit patients with chronic fatigue syndrome.

Cognitive behavorial therapy is the type of psychotherapy used in the study.

Not all patients are happy with this conclusion.  Many believe that the disease is related to a virus and want access to very expensive antiretroviral drugs.  There is no conclusion at this point.

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